(no subject)

[emesis]

You're free to talk about it as much as you wish, as much as it helps alleviates you. I've written a farewell note before and I've painted horrible words on my walls (I've even calculated funeral costs lmaoalwekjsd), and although I've burned and painted over all of those self depreciating diatribes by now, they helped when nothing else did. I don't imply that you should perpetuate those feelings, no not at all. Rather, don't leave it in there inside you or else it will fester into a force more hurtful than it already is. You rid of the pathogen before you heal, yeah?

This probably sounds like a load of crap, but some days you just -- you just got to get them over with, yeah? Some days, some months, some years, and then one day or two, the baggage will all fall to the floor and the clouds will clear up and you'll be left wondering why or how you felt that way in the first place, stronger than you ever were before.
You just have to keep going. It'll get better, eventually, if only for a little while. That's the vision that helps me through the hard times anyway.

I dunno, again, I'm not saying I know exactly what you're going through, but I realize how difficult wanting to continue can be. I still think about it, too -- ending everything. More than I'd like to admit, really. Sometimes hoping for something far off into the future is all (I)you(switching povs all over the place herE) have even when it's hard to imagine having a future in the first place, and that's ok.

I... 'm not sure where I was going with that, sorry, but yeah if anything, you are perfectly in your right to feel what you feel and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You can be sad if you want, you can feel anything you please, because you're awesome and lovely and a human fucking being with a life and real problems. Just please remember that you're not alone, or at least try, repeat it to yourself enough and you begin to believe it. "I'm ____, I'm sad, I'm tired of everything, but I'm not alone". You have my skype and my number and my tumblr I'd drive over there if I have to!! You're less than an hour away, after all.

You're a really great person and I'm glad to have met you, and a lot of other people are and fffffffuck I sound pretty generic but I'm being as sincere as I can.

YOU ARE GOLDEN. You're much stronger than you think you are and you're so generous and kind and it's truly a trait of yours that has maybe kinda brought me to desu tears on more than one occasion.

ilu!! :c pale 4u